Waves of Love
by Catherine4
Summary: spoilers for series finale Amy thinks about Jen 15 years on.


Casey and Morgan whispered to each other and giggled, slowly walking towards where Amy Lindley was sitting, leaning over a small table painting. Casey stepped forward and tapped her on the shoulder. Amy tried to ignore them and carried on with her picture.  
  
"Hey Amy, where's your mommy?" The two 6 year old girls turned back to each other and smirked.  
  
"She's not here" Amy said, turning away, determined no to let them see how upset she was.  
  
"Madison said she went because she didn't like you" they continued taunting. Amy stubbornly glared at the wall, willing them to leave her alone.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"I bet she didn't want to stay cos you were so horrible. Who would want t stay around when you were there?"  
  
Amy could feel anger and pain bubbling up inside her. She still stared at the wall, trying to keep her anger from spilling out. She could hear the other children playing in the classroom and she wanted to be able to have fun like them. She wanted to be able to talk to them and play with them, but however much she tried, she just couldn't.  
  
"SHUT UP!" she said again, louder this time, and the two bullies jumped back. "My Mommy loves me! She didn't mean to leave! God took her!"  
  
Tears began to fall down her cheeks. Their teacher had heard by this time and was urgently trying to shuffle Amy out of the classroom. Mrs. Pearson put her hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it away. Everyone in the class was staring at her now but Amy didn't care, she just wanted to get out.  
  
* * *  
  
Amy sat at the kitchen table staring blankly at her history book. She sighed and looked at the clock. It was only 8:15, but she yawned and turned another page, staring blankly at the page. It was no use, she couldn't concentrate. Her mind had already begun to wander. She found herself thinking back to when she was 6, who knew why.  
  
She always found herself thinking about things like that, she didn't even realised half the time. She smiled to herself and put down her pen, resigning herself to the fact that she wasn't going to get any work done. She stood up and was all set for an evening home alone in front of the TV when she heard someone tap on the window.  
  
She jumped, but turned around to see a familiar figure at the window. She pulled back the curtains and rolled her eyes.  
  
"What's wrong with the doorbell?" she asked Pacey as she opened the front door.  
  
"Nothing" he replied, smiling. "I just wanted to scare you."  
  
"Did you want something?" she replied with typical teenage annoyance.  
  
Pacey wasn't deterred. "Not really. But since I'm heading to New York with my lovely wife on Amy-and-Pacey-Saturday-Night, and your Dad's are out, I thought we'd have our traditional evening of fun tonight instead. You're not busy are you?"  
  
"Uncle Pacey, I'm tired. Can't we just skip this week?"  
  
"Not a chance."  
  
* * *  
  
"What are we doing then? What happened to pizza and videos?"  
  
Pacey looked at her and smiled. "Gets a bit boring don't you think?" Amy raised an eyebrow. "It's nothing fancy. Just thought I'd treat you to a slap up meal at the best restaurant in town. On the house of course."  
  
They walked up the steps into the Ice House. There was no one there. Apart from a few waiter milling around and a long table right at the end, private guests only.  
  
"What's this in aid of?" Amy turned to Pacey.  
  
"The first time in ages that we've all been together in Capeside for ages. Do we need any more occasion that that to celebrate?"  
  
"Of course not!" Jack grinned at his daughter and handed her a glass of wine. "Treat" he said, "tonight only. It's another 6 years until you can legally drink"  
  
She gladly took it and sat down next to Alex. Pacey pulled up a chair next to her and put an arm around Joey, kissing her on the side of the head.  
  
"Why couldn't you just tell me what was happening?" she whispered to him. "I thought my dads were just going to the movies."  
  
He shrugged. "Would any 15 year old be seen in public with their parents?" he asked rhetorically, "the only way to lure you here was under false pretenses."  
  
"Can I raise a toast?" Gail stood up with her glass of wine. "To all my favourite people in the world. And since three of those people are leaving tomorrow" she smiled at Dawson, Pacey and Joey, "I thought we'd better take advantage of the fact we're all her together for once."  
  
'We're not all here' Amy thought, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind.  
  
"Waiter!" Pacey called, and they got stuck into their meal.  
  
* * *  
  
Amy sat on the beach, near the shore line, flinging pebbles into the water. She sighed, it was getting late. She looked up at the moon in the sky and picked up another stone, turning it over in her hands.  
  
She always thought of her Mom at times like this. Not that she didn't usually, it was just that when everyone was together she couldn't help feel, deep down, that there was always someone missing. She could see on everybody else's faces that they were thinking the same thing but that was different.  
  
They all remembered Jen. Amy was the one person among them that was closest to her, yet furthest away. She had only been 1 when her mother died. The only images she had were from a short 2 minute video recording that had gone fuzzy from being watched constantly for 15 years.  
  
Everything in that video she knew by heart. Everything from that radiant smile, the glossy blonde hair, the eyes that sparkled, despite the illness that was consuming her. Even they guy in the blue shirt who walked past in the background with his dog. She had watched that tape so many times she could recite every word and recall every tiny movement and gesture.  
  
One thing stuck in her mind the most. What her mom had said about the ocean. She had always been a water baby, ever since she was little. It was as if her mothers parting words to her had somehow shaped her personality. It was the place she felt happiest, where she felt closest to the mother she never knew.  
  
She finally stopped playing with the stone and threw it into the sea.  
  
"There you are" said Jack, walking up behind Amy. She knew that her was standing next to her but didn't look up.  
  
"Hey, you OK?" he asked concerned, and crouched down next to her.  
  
"Yeah, just thinking."  
  
He nodded and made himself comfortable next to her. "She's watching you know" he continued, following Amy's gaze to the horizon. "She's always looking down on you, she loved you very much."  
  
"But I miss her. I wish I was older when it happened, I wish that I could remember more. I listen to everyone else talk about their memories, even Lilly. I want some of my own."  
  
Jack squeezed her shoulder and pulled her into a hug. "I know, but you're her daughter, that's more special than any memory. I see so much of Jen in you, you keep her alive."  
  
Amy smiled and a tear slid down her cheek. She had been told so much about what her Mom was like, fun loving, care free, kind. She could tell by the way people reminisced that they thought fondly of Jen and missed her very much. She was glad she could live up that.  
  
"Thanks Dad" she replied, wrapping an arm around him, "that means a lot."  
  
"No problem" he said, standing up. "Let's go back inside, I think it's about time for desert." 


End file.
